Batting 1000

So, I figure it's time for an update. I have now heard back from all the potential full time jobs from round one, and every single one of them said no. Including the dream job. Although, in that case, it was because the guy in charge had already made a decision by the time he got my info, so at least that one wasn't an outright rejection. Rejection seems to be the flavor of the month.

Monster has done nothing positive. I did get one lead from having my resume posted, but when I went to the "interview," the guy was evasive when I asked direct questions, and it generally left me with a feeling that something wasn't right. Turns out my parents have some knowledge of this subdivision of the group with the red umbrella logo, and my bad feeling was justified. Becki's parents had a similar reaction. Thus that lead is void.

Now I have an application out for a job as an assistant children's librarian at a new localish public library. Oh wow! A job as a children's librarian! Something new and exciting for me! Seriously, I think that's the only kind of job my resume can justify right now. I am begining to hate that, but of course, resume embellishment is generally frowned upon. I just wish my intelligence, language skills, actual interests, and non-employment-related experiences could add up to something.

People keep telling me that nothing is wasted, but my gosh, I've already worked in four libraries. I am gaining no experience in any field that is remotely interesting. As far as I can tell, I am getting nowhere fast, and the only thing that isn't getting wasted is my library experience. Linguistics degree? Pfffffffft. No one even knows what linguistics is. Mad grammar skills? Pfffffffft. I have been turned down for more English teacher jobs than I can count, including one I already had and did well in, and there is no such thing as an entry-level editing job that comes with any manner of paycheck. Writing? Please, spare me. Go see reallivepreacher and ask him if writing pays the bills. Don't even get me started on my foreign language skills or knowledge of intercultural relations. Neither is well enough developed to be of any real value.

So, yes, I'm a tad discouraged. The voice of my counselor is having it out with the voice that's whispering "useless failure." The whispering voices are worse than the screamers, because they know they don't have to work very hard. And in this case, even the voice of Counselor is double edged, because I won't see her again until October. (A break that is good and right in her case, but not easy for me. I have the option of meeting with her sub, but I can't afford it, so while I need it, the break is very well timed for me too.)

I'm still looking, and Local Christian University has a posting for a part time international student liason. I have an application in for that. That one at least has potential for moving to a better position eventually, and combined with the barista job, would pay the bills. The only other possibility I know of right now is yet another library job, this time in the local public school district.

In the meantime, I love the barista job. In fact, after the nightmare of a job disaster I just walked away from, this is exactly what I need. I didn't know it going in, but it's true. This, if everything else looks like more darkness, this at least gives me a glimmer of hope.

Maybe that glimmer is enough for now.