Today

Today I had a hard time focusing at work. Almost two weeks of not enough to do, and even less that's interesting. Except that I found one of sc0tlas's elementary classmates in the paper, being charged with vehicular manslaughter. On the same page I found my cousin talking about her brother's best friend who was killed in Fallujah on Sunday. Rest in peace, Blake. And be safe, James (and Eric and Banjo).

Today counseling was hard. Hard to connect, in this case. I was blocking something. Then I was shaking, but I couldn't figure out why. (I did later.) Then I was avoiding the idea of not isolating myself. I was even avoiding admitting that I do this. But it's true. My default response to trouble is to cut myself off from people. Which kinda goes with why I was shaking. I guess I cut myself off because I figure it's better than being abandoned, which is often the outcome if I don't isolate. At least with face to face people.

Today I got a book in the mail! Someone saw a book about Narnia and thought of me. Someone for no particular reason sent me a book about Narnia, just because. It kinda makes me feel special. :) Thank you, Book Fairy!

Today I am really tired, but it's counseling night, so there's a good chance I won't sleep so well.

Good night.