...Or Not
Such was the story of the morning.
There were lunch plans...
I saved a seat by me that stayed empty.
Pastor, on introducing communion, tried so hard to get people to include each other and not leave people sitting alone. And I was invited to join two groups. Of course, one invite was from my dad. Um, not on your life. Not with the things he's said. Not without those two little words he's never ever said. Or even any admission that he might possibly have screwed up. Everything in me was screaming NO. The other invite was from some people who are actually cool... who happened to be sitting right next to Dad.
I almost cried.
I almost left.
I'm changing services. ShadowBoy is at the other service, so that ought to be great fun. (sarcasm) But even he is preferable to Dad right now.
I still might cry.
Please let Tuesday come soon!
There were lunch plans...
I saved a seat by me that stayed empty.
Pastor, on introducing communion, tried so hard to get people to include each other and not leave people sitting alone. And I was invited to join two groups. Of course, one invite was from my dad. Um, not on your life. Not with the things he's said. Not without those two little words he's never ever said. Or even any admission that he might possibly have screwed up. Everything in me was screaming NO. The other invite was from some people who are actually cool... who happened to be sitting right next to Dad.
I almost cried.
I almost left.
I'm changing services. ShadowBoy is at the other service, so that ought to be great fun. (sarcasm) But even he is preferable to Dad right now.
I still might cry.
Please let Tuesday come soon!
posted by The Other Gatekeeper at
12:35 PM
3 Comments:
Aw, Spidey, I'm sorry the last couple of days have been so rotten.
If you can isolate and "hear" the voice saying you don't deserve help, you're that much closer to counteracting it and silencing it. Even though it sounds familiar -- don't believe a word it says. And hang in there, Tuesday is coming soon.
I hope things look up for you soon. I know things can seem lousy for months on end at times, but try to remember to pray for direction. When I'm at my worst and beating myself up, it's usually because I'm paying attention to everyone and everything except for the One that actually matters. :) I'll be praying for you here too.
It's Monday night here, - and I'm sending hugs and prayers. You are a very brave Spidey,and a rather perceptive one too.
Hang on in there, sweetie
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