A New Song, So to Speak

Two weeks ago, I stood in vespers fighting off a small panic attack. Before going to church, I had been sitting in Chick-fil-A taking advantage of the free wireless and visiting a friend who works there. For two days I had been fighting with an email, trying to make it say what I wanted it to say. Sitting there munching on waffle fries, I finally prevailed. It was a letter to people from the church I left explaining why I'm gone and what I'm doing, as well as thanking them for being who they are. I sent the email. Thirty minutes later I was at St. Peter's, shaking, teary, decidedly short of breath, and convinced that I would be disowned.

I haven't been disowned yet... that I know of, so I suppose I may have been wrong about that. I hope I was wrong about that. What I have heard in response has mostly been varying degrees of support. Some good-for-yous and some you-know-where-to-find-mes. One person thought I was crazy and gave it six months. One person decided we should meet over coffee and talk about it.

I was sitting in coffee hour on Sunday when Father Patrick waved me over for a chat. So when are we going to make you a catechumen? Um, I don't know. When? A couple conversations later, we're set for Christmas or just after.

It was so good to talk with Wade on Monday. For one thing, Wade's just a cool guy. He's been on staff for several years, in charge of both greeting and the coffee cart. I've worked with him in one capacity or other for most of the time he's been there. He and his wife are packing up their kids and moving to Hong Kong in two weeks. I'll miss them.

Monday wasn't just a time to say goodbye. Just the fact that he was interested in having the conversation quieted some of my issues with leaving. I'm not sure exactly how to say it. I guess it was freeing, in a sense. I really don't need to worry, because I know how to contact the people who are most important to me, and they know how to find me.

Things are going well.