Recovery
I spent the last two evenings with church people. It's been lovely. Yesterday was Nora the Exuberant's birthday, and a few of us got together. Someone commented that I looked so much better than I had on Sunday. This is most excellent, for I felt like the living dead last Sunday. Tonight at vespers, Jason asked if I had gotten any sleep.
Yes, in fact I am finally feeling something close to normal again. I'm not shaking all the time. I can eat, somewhat. There's still some room for improvement there. I'm sleeping normal hours, and I'm not falling asleep at the wrong times. My emotions have been all over the place, but that's pretty much to be expected at this point. There has been no further panic. Yay!
Remember Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail? She wishes for the ability to come up with the response she wants, when she wants it. She wants the power of the zinger. Interactions with Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) suddenly unearth that very skill, and immediately she wishes she could unsay certain things.
I am wishing that right now, as well. My mouth (or, in this case, my fingers) has (have) gone off and said things it (they) needn't have said. More than once, even. In fact, that seems to be my latest thing. Yikes.
I'm jumbled. I'm right side up again, but things in me are still trying to get back to where they're supposed to be. I'm tired and frustrated. My frustration seems to be bursting out at the wrong moments. If I could keep from mouthing off at the people who mean the most to me, that would be good.
Yes, in fact I am finally feeling something close to normal again. I'm not shaking all the time. I can eat, somewhat. There's still some room for improvement there. I'm sleeping normal hours, and I'm not falling asleep at the wrong times. My emotions have been all over the place, but that's pretty much to be expected at this point. There has been no further panic. Yay!
Remember Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail? She wishes for the ability to come up with the response she wants, when she wants it. She wants the power of the zinger. Interactions with Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) suddenly unearth that very skill, and immediately she wishes she could unsay certain things.
I am wishing that right now, as well. My mouth (or, in this case, my fingers) has (have) gone off and said things it (they) needn't have said. More than once, even. In fact, that seems to be my latest thing. Yikes.
I'm jumbled. I'm right side up again, but things in me are still trying to get back to where they're supposed to be. I'm tired and frustrated. My frustration seems to be bursting out at the wrong moments. If I could keep from mouthing off at the people who mean the most to me, that would be good.
posted by Sam Gamgee at
10:22 PM
2 Comments:
Sounds to me as if you're human, spidey my love. We all do the "harsh-words-to-those-least-deserving-them" routine with far more frequency than we'd like...but you ARE going through the mill, you ARE under pressure and that means that things go wrong sometimes in conversations whether real or virtual.
Sending hugs, loves and prayers for the meantime xx
CD, as one who has suffered from diarrhea of the mouth for way longer then you have, you have my sympathy and my prayers!
Mark
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