The Dating Game?

Are you sitting down? Please, take a seat. What you are about to read may be shocking.

I went on a date last night.

I know him from work, but only in passing. He comes to the office to get export documents certified. He's there several times a week, but never for more than a couple minutes. On Tuesday, out of absolutely nowhere, he asked me out. My brain, of course, tried to explode. It somehow stopped dead and flew into a tizzy. Simultaneously. I told him I'd have to think about it.

The rest of Tuesday was spent flipping out. I put together a mental checklist of all the reasons not to go. He's short. He's Coptic. I don't know him. Then I proceeded to argue with myself. It was quite noisy in my head, so I emailed Father Patrick, and we talked after vespers.

When the subject came up again on Wednesday, I told him okay, on the condition that he come to vespers Saturday, seeing as how I really don't know him, and I'm not comfortable going out with someone I don't know.

Well, he came to vespers. Then we went to Sizzler. We talked. It was fine. I gave it a chance, as Father recommended. Nothing horrific happened, which was nice. He's a nice guy.

You hear it coming, don't you? There's this thing I'm about to say, and you think you know what it is.

Once was sufficient. See, in conversation, it came out that he's "not a church-goer." That's what he said. I know plenty of people who will see no problem with this. I have already been told by one friend, "He likes God, and he's nice. That's enough." Another friend tried to convince me that it's okay; he might become a church-goer. I just have to work on him.

No.

I rarely dig my heels in and insist that something be just so, but this is going to have to be one of those times.

Christianity isn't something I do because that's how I grew up. It isn't a matter of intellectual assent to a specified collection of ideas. It isn't about being a good person. And, no, it isn't about going to church. Sure, if you want to boil it down, those things are part of it, but they aren't it. These may be fine for some people. God bless them. It's not sufficient for me.

Granted, I'm a poet, not a scholar, but as far as I can tell, Christianity is about becoming like Jesus. The thing is, I've been working on that pretty much my whole life, and I still get it wrong. All the time! I cannot be what I want to be, but I have to try. I cannot be content with my best. I so rarely even give it my best. I cannot reach that high. Not on my own, anyway. If someone is preparing for a marathon, they work out, build endurance, and build up their body with the proper nutrition. I won't be running any marathons any time soon, but I do need a similar sort of spiritual training, and the only way I know to accomplish this is to be formed by the life of the Church.

Even that is not enough, though. I also need to be surrounded by people with the same goal, so when I start lagging, when I trip over my own feet, I am not left behind to figure it out on my own. I will never be able to figure it out on my own!

Now, with that in mind, how could I even consider choosing someone who does not share that priority, even someone who intellectually assents to the same basic collection of ideas?

Maybe my standards are impossibly high. I already know I'm dealing with rather limited options.

Still, it only takes one.