May It Be

When I started this post, I was sitting here, looking at a blank box, and my iPod, in the middle of the soundtrack playlist, played "May It Be" from the end of the first Lord of the Rings movie. I immediately got the mental image of Frodo and Sam looking out over Emyn Muil.

                FRODO
          Mordor!   I hope the others find a safer road.

                    SAM
          Strider'll look after them.

                    FRODO
          I don't suppose we'll ever see them again.

                    SAM
          We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may.

                     FRODO
          Sam? I'm glad you're with me.

I'm not sure why that picture seemed so appropriate, but it nearly brought me to tears.

When I lost my job in August, several expenses had to go. I have not maneuvered myself out of all of them yet, but I cut counseling to twice a month immediately. So it has been for the last four months, and when I see Counselor again this Thursday, I'll cut it back again to once a month. I'll see her once in January and once in February, and then I'll be finished.

So a four year chapter draws to a close. It has been a very beneficial chapter. When I started, I could barely function through the constant panic attacks. Even as late as a year ago, I could not believe I'd ever be ready for this. But here it is, and yes, I am ready.

But that doesn't mean I'm not going to cry.